The most precious thing

One thing about having Parkinson’s and then shortly after finding out that I also had prostate cancer is that you start to re-evaluate things in your life. My life. (Sometimes when I’m writing I can’t figure out how to switch back and forth when I am talking about myself, expecially when past tense comes into it.)

I have Parkinson’s and I HAD prostate cancer.

I am lucky that my prostate cancer was discovered at my annual physical when my doctor suggested getting a PSA (the prostate blood screening). I just figured “why not” since they were drawing a bunch of blood anyway, but then the results came back and I needed to get further testing (meaning biopsies of cell samples) which confirmed that I had stage one prostate cancer. I was then lucky enough to get into a clinical trial where I only had to do 5 radiation treatments instead of the full course of 40 radiation treatments, which is the standard. Granted the 5 treatments were a much higher radiation levels, but they were literally laser focused. It’s been almost two years since my last radiation and in November I will get my final quarterly blood draw and if my numbers are still low, then I will only need to get re-tested every six months. Thank you modern medicine and science. The doctors and care teams at the Medical University of South Carolina saved my life and I am truly grateful.

All this does make me acutely aware that the most precious thing we have in this life is time. Money is great and I realise I am in a priviledged position to be able to say that. My income through my privately purchased long term disability gives us freedom that many working struggling families don’t have. Don’t get me wrong, we are not rolling in a private vault like Scrooge McDuck, but we don’t (at this point) need to worry about a roof over our heads or going hungry. The private insurance only lasts until I’m 65 and I hope the government gets its act together on my social security disability. That has been once denied and now appealed, but it’s been stuck in queue for over 6 months since the current administration it trying to f*ck us all. meaning anyone who is not a millionare or billionaire. (assuming that covers most of my readers)

But one thing that all this has done is really brought it home that we are all just one diagnosis or accident away from being disabled. Don’t think you are an exception. there are no exceptions to this possibility. Have empathy and care for your fellow humans who are less fortunate in many ways, whether that’s being disabled or unhoused or whatever the case might be.

The most precious thing, of course, is time. I have really come to realize this as I think of many of our long term/retirement plans. and oh, yes, we did and still do have plans. Parkinson’s doesn’t generally shorten one’s life expectancy, but it does definitely shorted your expectancy of quality living. So how do we prioritize or manage expectations on this? I am worried that even though thus far my physical limitations haven’t been greatly decreased, that will not always be the case.

This is not a doom and gloom post. I have actually been more physically active in the past few years than maybe ever before in my life and in many aspects am in better shape than ever. However, I do see my silverware and cups dancing in my hands. I see food spilled and drink sloshing around. But I also see me topping climbs, standing on podiums, benching more weight than ever before, and oh, yes, learning to surf. How long all that will continue, I don’t know, but I do appreciate each day more than I think I ever have in my life.